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April 23, 2007

Comments

Susie

I have missed you. I'm surprised that you have Asperger's. You seem to have such a capacity for intimacy, for relationship, which is usually not present there. But, I guess, part of the reason you can write about such things with so much more clarity and eloquence than the rest of us is that you've had to explore their workings much more carefully. And I, for one, am so grateful that you have done that, that you do that, because it helps me, too. I guess I'm "turned on" by your issues ;) I am turned on, really, by the way you look at yourself and the world as honestly and as compassionately as you can.

I think empathy is often enhanced by early struggles. What was it Frank McCourt wrote in Angela's Ashes? "The happy childhood is hardly worth remembering," Something like that.

I'm happy to see you this morning, my friend.

sheryl

I'm so happy to see you, too, Susie!

My Asperger's is not severe, but it's there. I was surprised too, until I thought about all of the parts of me I could never really explain. There were years I couldn't look people in the eye. I outgrew that when I was a teenager, at some point I decided to just act like someone else when I felt afraid and it worked. Not until M did I ever learn to feel comfortable hugging and touching, and only because it is such a part of who he is.

Asperger's was a piece of my puzzle I didn't have before so I am grateful for knowing about it. And like you wrote, I'm ok with having issues. I guess I feel like we all have them, just different combinations. I'm a lot more comfortable in my life and happier now that I have learned about my issues. Some of them have even been resolved. I had to smile about that thing I read about unresolved issues being a turn off because - how do you know if an issue is from childhood or not? Is it only true that you have unresolved childhood issues if you mention the word childhood? heh heh.

So, I'm back! And I feel fortunate to have any readers left after being gone so long, and especially thrilled to see you this morning.

I'm going to send you an email now. :)

Lisa

I was afraid and unable to yearn for many years of my life. I had no idea what I wanted, what truly made me happy. I also felt that yearning for something, wanting something made me weak. Weakness equaled vulnerability and being vulnerable was out of the question.

Issues are issues. To me they aren't a turn off, a turn on or anything else. They just...are. Most of us have them, to some level or another. It's funny that you mentioned self-indulgence. I've been feeling that way about therapy here lately. I'm just sick to death of talking about myself week after week. Time for a break, I suppose.

The Asperger Syndrome discovery is interesting. Of course, I don't know you "in real life" but I can infer many things from reading your writings and even more from viewing your photos. You are gifted and you see the world in a different way, a beautiful way.

I hope that this piece of knowledge about yourself is helpful to you in so many ways. I admire your candor and your uncanny ability to speak your truth. Thank you, as always, for just being you.

It's good to see you back, my dear.

sheryl

Thank you, Lisa! Good to be back. :)

What you say about vulnerability is so true. Or at least it was true for me too. I have thought some about needs/wants, and there are some things I want to write about that here.

I think therapy might be one of those things I will revisit on and off as needed. I've taken a couple of years off and now I think I may be ready to return. In fact, I was thinking of starting a new category on this blog called "Things I learned in therapy".

mrtl

It's got to be reassuring to find answers, for things to start making sense. I don't know much about Asperger's -- a friend's teenage daughter has it -- but it sounds like you have incredible adaptive skills.

Hugs to you!

Carol

Hey Sheryl!

I'm so glad you found a missing piece to the puzzle. And I was completely surprised to read about it. It's all so complicated, isn't it? For you are one of the most insightful and eloquent artists I've ever come across.

Carol

oops - i guess it doesn't matter about my last name? : )

Danielle

First of all, I love your new collage. It reminds me of hearts, and the colors are definitely that warm feeling I associate with love, which is really.... I'm not sure. Nice isn't the word... comforting is close though... happy is another that comes close.

Anyway, I had wondered about your Aspberger's diagnosis. You mentioned it somewhere in passing and I was wondering what the symptoms/behaviors are that are typical. You said it so briefly, I'd thought that I must have missed a more detailed description and it embarassed me for missing something so important and hence I didn't ask you about it any further. But regardless of all of that, I want to say that I'm glad that hearing that you have a syndrome is helping you, and not harming you. Some people really freeze up when they hear a diagnosis of some sort and let it prevent them from being a certain way. I'm not sure that I'm being clear about this. I guess for an example, if you'd learned about it as a child and learned that one of the symptoms is difficulty in touching others, you might have gotten that aspect stuck in your consciousness and never been able to reach out to M. and touch him/take comfort from touching instead of feeling anxiety or other feelings that would block you. So, I think it is good, perhaps, that you didn't know until recently. Do you think so? It is certainly enlightening to have the puzzle pieces fit into place about yourself. I personally, like understanding why I tend to react a certain way in certain situations. Because once I understand it, I can try to be aware of it, and change the way I behave. Which is all good, I think.

I love your way of seeing. I'm so glad that you are in my life and I get to share that with you.

I send you good wishes across the miles (no hugs, unless you are comfortable with one),
Danielle

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