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July 16, 2005


Amanda B.

That is really beautiful Pix.

"I laid down in a fire after you left me. Your fingerprints are gone."

That gets to me. Big time.

La Pix

Thanks, Amanda
That part got me too when I read it today.

What gets me even more is realizing so clearly the poems I wrote about my ex during and after our breakup can be applied to my mother very easily. Times ten.

Freaks me out.

Because I miss my ex's friendship terribly. This is the first time I have really been able to feel angry about it, or even feel the loss since I put it aside shortly after we broke up.

I don't miss my mother's motherness or the part of her love that was "healthy love". Early in my childhood she did a remarkable job with me, and my siblings too.

I just don't have the same kind of yearn to reconnect with the good she gave me... as I do with my ex.

La Pix

Here's another one written about the ex which could be applied to losing my mother to mental illness:


It wasn't until I saw the date that I had a guess of who you were writing about, and even after that, I wasn't sure if it was about only one person who'd hurt you, or the whole feeling of hurt.

Wishing for healings of the heart, whatever the date may be.


That poem. So good, and so sad. I have felt those things. I hear you.

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