Wave of Modulation_old: let the beauty of what you love be what you do

November 17, 2006

let the beauty of what you love be what you do - Rumi

[I know, I know. I still haven't got my remote posting issue straightened out. But I will! And I will catch up on NaBloPoMo!]

The other day I was chatting with a cab driver. I was taking pictures of the lights on the ride home. (The pictures in this post are not the ones I took from the cab that night.) He asked to see the pictures and when I showed him a few, he said he was so surprised to see only diffused blobs of light. But he said he loved them. He asked me how long I had been a photographer and I told him I'd been shooting on and off since 1985... prolific periods punctuated by lapses.

I think of myself as a painter, and I used to think this recent period of photographic productivity was a passing phase. Something I did to satisfy my creative urges, something much less messy than paints and charcoal and eraser droppings. Now it is two years and about 100,000 pictures later. Now I am not certain that I am more painter than photographer. I may never stop taking pictures.

The act of seeing gives me so much joy and satisfaction. I can't imagine what it would be like if this was my career. If I could somehow take photos, the way I do now or very close to it, and make a living. Summer wrote about something similar recently; becoming a professional photographer, and having to do things that aren't fun or compelling, or inspiring.

But if I could do it exactly as I love it ... wow. I think it's time to think about how to get there.

- - - -

On a perhaps counter-intuitive note

I asked the cabbie, if he had to choose one, would he rather be blind or deaf. This question pops into my head every few years. He said he didn't know, that he would have to think about it for a while. Then he asked me if I would rather be blind or deaf.

I said I would rather be blind, to his surprise. I'll tell you why in my next post.

In the meantime, which would you rather be, if you had to choose one, blind or deaf?

November 17, 2006 at 02:24 PM in Canon EOS 20D, Du Jour, NaBloPoMo | Permalink

Comments

i found your blog the other day (can't remember how now) but i am so smitten that i had to say hello! yes, your photos (especially these most recent glow-ball pics) are like paintings and so striking in the way they capture the essence of the light, the blur of colors, the beauty of shadows. really, i can't stop looking! thank you for sharing your beautiful point of view with the world here - so happy to have found you!

Posted by: love squalor | November 17, 2006 at 03:04 PM

Blind. Definitely. Not being able to hear the world around me, or listen to music, would be my death.

Posted by: toadman | November 17, 2006 at 03:30 PM

The important thing is that it gives you joy and pleasure. I would be so afraid of doing photography as "work" and then take away the joy of it.

If I had to pick one, I suppose it would be deaf. I am a very visual person. Then again, I love music so that would be a huge loss.

Posted by: Lisa | November 18, 2006 at 09:18 AM

I think deaf. Even though I'm an auditory person. There seem to be more ways to compensate for an absence of hearing. Very thankful that I can do both.
And how are you, dear one? I think of you often.

Posted by: Susie | November 18, 2006 at 10:05 AM

I think this may be my first comment?
As someone who has severe hearing loss, I'd choose deafness. There's a kind of comfort in the muted way I experience the world.

Posted by: Noria Jablonski | November 20, 2006 at 02:16 PM

Neither, but I have music playing in my head at all times, so I think I could survive without being able to hear externally more easily than not being able to see my children's faces.

Posted by: shari | November 20, 2006 at 05:00 PM

Yes! I finally got through! For some reason, this post has been locking up my browser every time I've tried to scroll down and get to the comments. But I finally made it.

Hence, I've had lots of time to consider and reconsider your question.

I decided that I'd choose blindness. Even though I am such a visual person, and a visual learner, I can't imagine not hearing music or sounds. Even little things like the trickling of the cat's water fountain or the hum of the fridge or the clicking of the keys on the computer keyboard are somehow comforting to me. That said, I'd have a mess of a time in my profession, because it would be okay to be deaf, but impossible (I think) to be blind. So... that is the one thing that is rather disconcerting about having to choose.

Posted by: Danielle | November 22, 2006 at 10:18 AM